Porn is love you can see.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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