He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
