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If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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