By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
