fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
