How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
