you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
