; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
