my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
