can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
