I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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