Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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