So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
