he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize