i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
