her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
