Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
