Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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