i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
