I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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