I'm eating all of the evidence.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the condom got lost in my hair
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
