3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
