I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
