no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
