Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
