Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
