Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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