am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
