Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
