Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
