In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
