As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
