He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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