1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
