well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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