I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
