my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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