uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
