good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
