STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Your penis caused this!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
