I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
