worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
