there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
