Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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