he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
