I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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