Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
