FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
