i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
