Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
