Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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