there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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