Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
