I saw his package. It spoke to me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
