Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?

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(516): View more from New York

everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

(734): View more from Michigan

She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

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(940): View more from Texas

I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.

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(914): View more from New York

My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink

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(303): View more from Colorado

Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?

(512): View more from Texas

Sounds like a legit day to me.

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