I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
