I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
