We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
