I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sorry about my life...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
