but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
