the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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