Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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